The Telly Nelly Blog

'Top Design' Blunders On...

My oh my...the tradition of poor fashion decisions continues.

How unfortunate. Blah.

As you can see, Jonathan took my last post to heart - he deep six-ed those funky muppet ties in favor of something a little more sophisticated. Granted he's still wearing velvet jackets and the tie is a bit too large, but without an incredibly over sized tie his head is somewhat proportional. Personality wise he still hits the red on the creepy scale if you ask me, giving off a vibe that's a mix between Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka and Michael Jackson. I would *not* want to spend a night in his chalet, that's for sure!

And this time around I've added in a little Margaret 'Sneer' Russell as well - though her outfit is perfectly  acceptable. (She's a lonely little petunia in an onion shop). Margaret darling, what's with the look? Are you sitting on one of Jonathan's ties? If so, pardon moi! If not, you might want to consider dropping the

Or perhaps the reflection of light shooting off Kelly Wearstler's Barbarella-themed, space-hooker outfit proved too much? Goodness me Kelly, do you even own a mirror? Trust me, I hate myself for saying that after seeing the droolicious hotel designs you've created...if only your genius extended to your fashion decisions!!

And hmmm...what's with this mystery room shown in the opening credits? Methinks someone made a mistake - we haven't seen this one yet, a.k.a. it's from a future episode! If you as me, it looks like Carisa's design work, and since they're showing it with a bunch of other winning rooms, it looks like she'll be the winner for next week - you heard it here first!

So does that mean it's curtains for Matt or Andrea?

Fiddlesticks. Who ruined the surprise moppets???

Lets Rig 'American Idol' By Voting for the Worst!

While I still detest 'American Idol' like it was a Cheney baby, this delightful idea gives me hope.

I know I'll be calling in for the worst - but didn't this already happen last year with that icky Taylor Hicks thing? ew.

If you're gay and you actually like 'American Idol', you're in good company on AOL!

Sigh...you crazies. When will you learn?

And when oh when will Paula dry out? Lordy lou, she's a mess!

What Will Jonathan Wear on 'Top Design' Tonight?

It's come to the point where I'm only watching Bravo's 'Top Design' to see what *horrible* velvet jacket & over sized tie combo Jonathan Adler will be wearing tonight. Will it be made of carpet? Or perhaps made from muppets, as surely this tie from last week was...? Jonathan darling, if you're trying to start an big honkin' tie fashion revolution, it ain't workin' out for ya. You look like a puppet your head is so small. And for gods sake, put on some socks!!!! (And stop giving Kelly pills!)

Which brings us to Kelly Wearstler. Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. Yes, I'm sure she's a high fallootin' interior designer. But every week she treads into dangerous fashion territory by playing wardrobe roulette! I can just see her reaching into a gigantic walk-in-closet blindfolded and cobbling together whatever she ends up grabbing into one giant clusterf*ck of an outfit. In last week's episode, Kelly said she likes honest criticism. Let's put that to the test, shall we?

Kelly darling, you look like an 19th Century whore in this freakish outfit - in fact, you're looking a bit like Dee Schneider from 'Twisted Sister' fame with all that hair. (Did Jonathan Adler recommend this look? Not all homos know what they're talking about dear; never take fashion advice from a gay puppet.)

No, I'm not trying to be cruel, I'm being *honest*.

Yes, there *is* a difference. Tough love people!

Don't Get Me Wrong...I Love America

But honestly, don't Vanessa Williams and Judith Light deserve their own spin-off?

Yes, yes they do.

Here are a million reasons why.

Whooopsie! Wrong reasons! However did *that* happen? Silly Typepad!!!

Regardless, Vanessa and Judith could poop into Dick Cheney's eager mouth and still I'd watch! That's how *good* they are.

Um...sorry for the visual Mary. I'm sure your dad isn't into scat...after all, he's not a dirty homo like us now is he?

Oh, sorry...I meant a dirty homo like me.

After all, you're having a baby. Wheeee you! If only Anne Heche had thought of that - think of the trouble we could have saved the media. I mean, really!

Congrats to you, Heather and the turkey baster darling - hope your big gay baby gets your rugged good looks!

Go Suze!

Right on, Sistah Money.

You go!

Feel free to throw some of those millions my way, I won't mind!

Oh yummy money. Why must you be sooooo delicious???

You're like candy for the future.

Edgar Allen Poe Goes West Hollywood

Looky, looky - some fresh production pictures from here! Network's 'The Raven,' which just wrapped up production.

Looks like they forgot to hire a wardrobe assistant - whooops!

I'm sure Edgar Allan Poe had a scene much like this in mind when he put pen to paper and wrote 'The Raven.' He was likely wearing snug cotton boxer-briefs as well...I believe he too had a preference for square-cut Calvins...

Then again, perhaps the person in the black sheet *is* the wardrobe consultant? I'd be hiding my shame as well, methinks.

Oh dear. I think someone at here! Networks needs a cold shower!

What a world!

Quoth The Telly, Nevermore...

Holy poetry Batman - here! Networks takes Edgar Allan Poe to gayland!

Laureates and lesbians, pay heed...this metered treat brought to you by the quality folk behind 'Leather Jacket Love Story.'

here! Networks Wraps Production on the Gothic Thriller 'The Raven'

David DeCoteau’s Feature Adaptation of Classic Edgar Allan Poe Story Will Debut on here! Networks This Summer

Los Angeles – March 19, 2007 – here!, America’s premium gay television network, is pleased to announce the completion of principal photography on the upcoming feature Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven, a gothic, refreshingly alternative adaptation of the classic horror tale.  The film, directed by cult horror icon David DeCoteau (The Brotherhood, Leather Jacket Love Story), makes its debut on here! this summer.

“With The Raven, we are excited to present an intriguing take on the classic poem,” said Stephen P. Jarchow, Co-Founder and Chairman of here! Networks.  “The Raven takes the conventions of a genre in shocking and provocative directions.”

Edgar Allan Poe’s The Raven, from a screenplay by Matthew Jason Walsh (The Brotherhood), puts a new spin on the gloomy and macabre proceedings of the classic Poe story.  The film centers on a group of young men and women in Britain who throw an extravagant party at an eerie mansion said to be the site of an infamous mass-murder.  When the festivities are cut short by an ominous visitor, all hell breaks loose.  As the murderer begins picking off the party participants one-by-one, old grudges resurface and new suspicions arise, making the entire affair a deadly night to remember.

DeCoteau shot The Raven in Johannesburg, South Africa and London with well known cinematographer Vincent G. Cox, BSC (Hotel Rwanda, Creatures the World Forgot). The film features music courtesy of composer Richard Band (Puppet Master, Re-Animator).  The film stars a cast of exciting young actors, as well as legendary British actor Richard Johnson (The Haunting, Lara Croft: Tomb Raider) as the voice of The Raven.

Who's Hurtin' 4 Curtin?

I know *I* am.

And surely I, The Telly Nelly, am not alone.

Snaps to all with plans to watch this show.

La la la Jane Curtin. Me love you long time! I mean, seriously - after all these years, she still looks as good now as she did back in the day. Seriously.

Chevy Chase looks like melted cheese. (Likely a brie.) Or Dick Cheney. I can't imagine which white biotch I'd like to eat less with turkey on rye!

But I digress - love ya Jane, I'd eat you on rye anyday!

Perhaps, Just Perhaps...

Oh Wil, why must you make me think?

I suppose I can see your point...perhaps Robbie Williams isn't all *that* bad, even if he is a bit of a soggy ol' rehab cracker.

(Brittany what?)

So what's got The Telly Nelly going 180 on the Williams train? I figure if he's good enough to hang with Emily Howard and Florence, well then he's certainly good enough for moi.

And he *does* look adorable in those little tiger undies, bless him.

I suppose I'd get all frothy over him too...sigh.

(It would have been easier before he got in rehab. I think I missed my chance.)

I'm Still Not Sure...

I'm still not sure what I think about this whole Carol Burnett/'Family Guy' lawsuit.

I mean, sure - Seth can be a major dill weed, but they've got a point: She is a spoofer herself.

Of course, Carol always had class. Presumably, she still does.

I dunno...her 'Princess & The Pea' sucked, but I blame ABC. (a.k.a. Disney, silly.)

Sigh. What's the world coming to? Can't we all just enjoy our millions and be happy?